BROCKETOLOGY

In September of 1986, a few anonymous people made a tape. It was a parody of a reservation radio station. Little did they know that  years later, this tape would have a cult following not only in Alberta Canada, but all over the world. This tape was branded Brocket 99 and it has elicited every known emotion. People were, and still are, divided about the meaning of the tape.

HEAP BIG THANKS TO THE CREATOR OF BROCKET 99

I've been thinking about this for awhile and I realized that no web site or person that I know of has ever publicly thanked the Creator(s) of Brocket 99 for bringing this piece of genius into our lives. I know that when I feel down in the dumps or have had the aqua velva yuck a flux, a dose of Brocket 99 still continues to make me laugh my ass off. It's part of my every day language. People have created parodies, commercials, and even want to make movies about this tape. It's a fantastic show! I'm sure that there are thousands of people that feel the same way I do!

So, to the Creator(s) of Brocket 99, who may have struggled with negative press in Alberta.  Know that there are people who write me every week and tell me how cool Brocket 99 is. They are not only in  Fort MacLeod or Alberta, your fans are all over the world! I hope that you've seen this website and enjoy it. It wouldn't exist without you!  I'd like to say on behalf of every Brocket  99 Fan out dere; Thank you so very much for bringing a smile to our face and laughter to our heart! You rock the fuckin' Reservation! - Michael Anthony BrokenHead

Brocket 99: History

In 1986 “Ernie Scar” (a local DJ in Alberta) was given a tape of a radio parody. It was about gay guys running a station called “AIDS radio“. “Ernie” and a few friends decided that they wanted to apply this idea to both the local Natives and the Hutterite community in Southern Alberta. Although “Jake Radio” never became more than an idea, Brocket 99 took off like fire through hell.

“It was a joke”; says the man who was only in his twentys when the parody was made. “It was never meant to be heard by anyone outside of this circle of three or four people. But years later; You dub one and tell someone and they’ll dub one and tell someone. And he’ll dub 10 copies and tell 10 friends and on and on and on.” Brocket 99 grew a life of its own. And now, thanks to the internet, there’s worldwide interest.

Who Created the Brocket 99 Site?

Who are the people that create the Brocket 99 web site?

I get letters every once in awhile that accuse this site of promoting racism. I get many more that tell us how damn funny it is. The people that write to us are of all different races and backgrounds. And the Brocket 99 staff has the same distinction. The guy who created the cartoons for us is Asian. Some of the other writers are white. I, myself am part Native. One thing we all have in common is that we love Brocket 99.

I am Cherokee or Chickacoan as far as I'm able to gather... Read the rest here

Ernie's Scars - Recent quotes from the creator of Brocket 99

Interrogate Ernie Scar closed at the end of 2004. People just didn't take it too seriously and I think the one question that most people wanted the answer to, couldn't be given. That is, who is Ernie Scar? What is his name?

So Ernie and I have decided to just talk and whenever something really noteworthy comes up, I'll jot it down in the Interrogate Ernie Scar section. It's a new chapter called Ernie's Scars! In it, you'll find out little tid bits like this;

Michael Anthony: And we don't make you check your knives at the door, even if they are 21 inches long.

Ernie Scar: 22 inches long! That, by the way, was from another news report back in the day, where the Lethbridge cops shot some guy at the Bridge Inn who was threatening them with a 22-inch blade. Like the court report shit, I'm not making any of this up. It's (Brocket 99) the world's first Reality Show.

Ernie Scar also came up with the idea for the Osama Bin Shot both Sides gear.

Brocket Science

In this online course, we intend to explore Brocket 99 with a word by word critical analysis in order to get to its root cause. Was Brocket 99 a demonic plan for hatred and the eventual destruction of Canadian Natives? Or was it, as their own narrator put it; "... simply a parody and in many ways, a sobering look at native characteristics we all know are sometimes made light of by non-natives." We may not know the true answers until the creators of this tape reveal themselves. If they ever do. For now, let us explore the possibilities of what Brocketoligists agree is the best parody of a radio show, bar none. Brocket 99.

Brocket 99 stars Ernie Scar. Ernie is the morning DJ and pretty much the voice of the station. He cuts most of the spots and seems to have the "itchy" foothold on the music. We can therefore assume that Ernie Scar is both Program Director and Music Director for the *hottest Rock on the Reservation.

As Ernie begins the Brocket broadcast day, we can hear what will become a disturbing trend. AC/DC songs are played over and over again. We'll delve more into AC/DC later as we break down the Brocket 99 playlist, but for now we wonder; Is Ernie hooked on death and damnation as a result of his own party lifestyle, or is the station just too broke to have much of a musical selection?

Ernie seems like a happy enough Native. But you can tell that the whitey's get to him. And why not? White *Safeway shoppin' WASP trash took his land and his freedom. Well, maybe not his land now, but certainly the land of his ancestors. You can begin to hear Ernie's frustration's build as he does a live read of the latest (2) Safeway Commercial;

Ernie Scar: Fresh corn-on-the-cob is irresistible, especially at Safeway's low prices. This week we got Washington-grown, Canada Number One corn-on-the-cob, value-priced at three cobs for 88 cen . . .

Ernie Scar: Fuckin' goddamned whitey-produced fuckin' commercials. Never come out the right way. Okay, Safeway's got everything, that's 88 cents for the corn. And everything you need for a super summer barbecue, charcoal, starter, napkins, and paper plates. At Brocket Safeway.

We see Ernie's disdain for whitey incompetence. "Fuckin' goddamned whitey-produced fuckin' commercials. Never come out the right way."

We'll examine how the show unfolds, the time discrepancy, Harley Squirrel Nuts and deep denial plus more of Ernie's hatred toward whitey in upcoming classes.

FOOTNOTES

*Hottest Rock on the Reservation refers to Brocket 99

(2) Safeway (TM) and the Safeway commercial Music are copyrighted by Safeway Supermarkets and used only for demonstration purposes in this course. Brocket99.Net is not paid by and does not endorse Safeway in any way.

RUMOURS

THESE ARE NOT REAL ORIGINS OF BROCKET 99

The RCMP have friends at a radio station in Lethbridge. They get drunk one night and decide to make a tape about the indians they've been arresting from the local reservation in Brocket.

A couple of people, and apparently some rocker comedian types from Edmonton, happened to be at the Univeristy of Lethbridge, where these tapes got made. About 10 -12 University of Lethbridge students were also involved... Then, when the copies of the tapes were made and shared, things got blown out of proportion, badly and many of those involved probably don't want their names even mentioned. Any student who would have been involved with the making of Brockett99 would have been in some serious trouble.

WHAT THE HELL IS A BROCKET ANYWAY?

1. A two-year-old red deer with its first horns.
2. Any of several small South American deer of the genus Mazama, having short unbranched horns.